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Anekdin pore ekta bhaalo hindi chhobi dekhlum. chhobitaake koto taa Bollywoody chhobi bolaa jaay aamar sandeho aachhe, kaaron plot Hadley Chase aar bibhinno English thriller theke jhaaRa. tobe Hindi chhobi to botei. Bhaasha ta jakhan Hindi!

anyway, bhaalo jinis sabsamay-i bhaalo. naa jheRe ekta mindless time-killer toiri koraar cheye jheRe ekta bhaalo crime-thriller toiri koraa anek bhaalo.

Ekta gang, 5 joner. Sheshadri (Dharmendra), Shiva (Daya Shetty), Prakash (Vinay Pathak), Shardul (Zakir Hussain) aar Vikram (Neil Nitin Mukesh). smuggling ityadi kore. hothaat ek corrupt police officer (Govind Namdeo) er kaachhe theke ekta drug consignment kenaar boraat paay. 2,50,00,000 taka diye. je jaar jathasarboswo bondhok rekhe taaka jogaaR kore. thik hoy, Shiva jaabe taka niye maal aante. kintu ekjon, Vikram, thik kore se sab taka churi kore Sharduler bou Mini (Rimii Sen) ke niye chompot debe Canada. ek master plan baanay. sab thikthaak cholchhilo, kintu ek jaygay ektu bhul hoye gelo. taarpor eker por ek khun. shesh obdhi ki holo, setaa aar bolchhi naa, ek saarthok thriller ke maathe maara hobe. pordaay dekhun bondhuraa, boRo kimbaa chhoto pordaay.

cinemataar technical dik bolte gele prothomei script aar screenplay. asadharon! kothaao goppo ektuo thomke jaayni. slow hoyni. tor tor kore egiye cholechhe, ekbaarer jonyeo bore laageni dekhte dekhte. edike taaRahuRo kore goppo shesh hochchhe taao naa. sab jeno thikthaak.

aar ei script ke chuuRanto support korechhen protiti actor. Neil Mukesh er Debut film eti. tini asadhaaron. eto free abhinoy, eto saaboleel aar eto natural. congrats Neil, aro abhinoy dekhaar ichchhe roilo. anek lombaa race er ghoRaa aapni. Vinay Pathak , Govind Namdeo aar Zakir Hussain teenjonei stage actor. faatiye abhinoy korechhen teenjonei. Daya Shetty’r temon kichu korbaar chhilonaa, jetuku sujog peyechhe, bhaaloi. Rimiio bhaalo korechhen. Hindi film e naayika der sadharonoto kichhu korbaar thaakenaa. ei chhobi taar byatikrom. Rimii sujog taa kaaje laagiyechhen. Aar Dharmendra!!!! Offff… lokta ki kore etodin nijeke noshto korlo. “kutte kameeney…” dharmendra ke naa, ei chhobite anekdin pore dekhlum abhinetaa Dharmendra ke. jaake anekdin aage dekha jeto Bandini, kimbaa Chupke Chupke te.

gaan temon nei film e jetuku aachhe, background score er moton. bhaalo laaglo shunte. photography aar lighting er tulonaa nei. script er proyojone ekdom thik thaak aalo, thikthaak camerar byabohaar. jaaygay jaaygay laal ronger bishesh byabohaar jeno chhobite aalada maatra jog korechhe.

ektaai jaaygay golmaal laaglo, jakhan gang member ra notecounting machine e taka gunchhilo, takhan Prakash er dewaa jaal-note gulo dhoraa poRlo naa keno?

tobe ekta scene er katha ullekh naa kore paarchi naa. Dharmendra’r mrityu drishya. guli kheye tolte tolte egiye giye tape recorder chaalu kore dewaa, aar mritaa stree’r gawlaay shesh baarer moton shonaa, “moraa goraa rang layi le…” shunte shunte jontronaa-klishto mukhtaa ekta adbhut proshaanti te bhore jawaa, taarpor dheere dheere mrityur kole dhole poRaa. Dharmendra ASADHARON!!!

CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS POST

“G**d mereche!” bolle Madan. “koi dekhi!” bolei Aladin er haath theke prodeep taa chhiniye niye ek chokh bondho kore uNki dilo bhetore. ki dekhlo ke jaane, Purandar ke bollo, “Jhot se ekta kobita jhaaRo to!”

Purandar DS er dike taakiye fyasfyase gawlaay bollo, “aami paarbo naa Madan da, ekhon kichhutei paarbo naa.”

Crucio!” ektur jonye bNeche gelo Harry. tobe eibaar se hNaafachchhe, chulgulo ghaamer sange lepte gechhe kopaale. aar beshikkhon naa.

Madan ekbaar sedike dekhei, Purandar er takiye bollo, “Nakshaal! b**l kothaakar!” ekta boRo dom niye ek phNuu maarlo prodeep taar mukhe.

‘BOOM’ – pidim er oporer dhaakna ta chhitke gelo. ekta beguni dhNowaar kundoli baaire paakiye uthlo. shonaa gelo ekta gawla, “ure baba!! ki bisri gondhow-w-w!! wyack!”

Aladin eibar dhomke uthlo, “ki hochchhilo etokkhon dhore, dakchhi shunte pao naa?”

“taai bole omon ekta bitkel gondho shNokaaben?” bhaari abhimaan kore bolle Jinn.

“baaje bokonaa, oi loktaake aatkaao. chhele taake mere fello bole!”

“Oi shNutko taa? jo huqm, mere aqa!” shNow kore egiye gelo maanusher moton chehaara wala dhNowaar kunodli maarka Jinn, so-o-ja Voldemort er dike.

Voldemort Jinn ke aaste dekhei wand ghuriye chitkaar korlo, “expecto patronum!” ekta rupoli saap chhitke elo Jinn er dike. Jinn khub casually saap taake dhore nijer dhNowaar jobbar modhye pure aabar egiye gelo.

Voldemort etotaai abaak hoechilo, je kono kathaai bolte paarlo naa. Jinn sojaa or mukhomukhi hoye bollo, “ki moshaai, kochi chheletaake bNaash dichchhen keno?” Voldemort ektukhaani saamle nijer wand taa aabar tulte jachchilo, Jinn ek dhomok dilo, “ei aapnar jonye aamar kNacha ghum taa maati holo. aapnake ki bolte ichche kore bolun to?”

Silencio wand tule shashalo Lord Voldemort.

“Aarbi bolun moshaai. Ingriji bujhinaa.”

Incarcerous!” koththeke ekgaada doRi ese bNedhe fello Jinn ke. kintu dhNowaa ke bNadha mushkil, chupse gelo bNaadhon ta. Jinn eibaar birokto holo, “dhuttor. beyaadob aadmi kaahaNka!” bolei ek ghusi maarlo Voldemort ke. thik maarar aager muhuurte dekhaa gelo Jinn er dhNowaate haath ta hothaat muscular hoye gelo. aar ghusi kheye Lord Voldemort chhitke poRlo, magic carpet er opor. thik D.S. er paashei.

“Oh! thanks a lot friends.” Harry bollo khaanik opor theke, jHaantay bhaste bhaaste.

Purandar aabar haau haau kore uthlo, “O Madan da, D.S…..!”

Madan Jinn ke bolle, “du botol Banglu niye eso to.”

Jinn ektu bhruu kNuchke, gawlaa chulkote chulkote bollo, “Maalik naa bolle aami kichhu kori naa.”

Aladin khNichiye uthlo, “Etokkhon dhore naak daakanor samaye Maalik mone chhilo naa? jaao niye eso joldi!”

Jinn bhaari aaNshte mukh kore chole gelo, Purandar chhi chhi kore uthlo, “chhih Madan da, tumi eto boRo harami aami bhaabini. D.S. er bodyr saamne tumi Bangla khabe? paarbe khete?”

Madan uttor dewaar aagei Jinn ferot chole elo, ek haathe jholaano duto jaali bangla maal-er botol.

Madan ekta khule D.S. er naaker kaachhe dhorlo. ek second…. du second….teen second- D.S. er mawRaa potaang kore chokh khullo, “ihh guru! Kolabagan er blacker maal mone hochche? CHAAMPI!”

D.S. aaRamoRaa bhenge uthe boslo, aar hNaa hoye taakiye roilo Purandar ebong Aladin. “ki korle bolo to Madan da?” bokaar moton proshno korle Purandar.

“e hochchhe Madan er brain, jaanbe! ar ei hochche dhyamna D.S.  aami to jaani-i D.S. ki maal, joto jai hok, bangla’r gondho shNokaao, o thik khaRa hoye jaabe!”

“o moshaai!” interrupt korlo Jinn. “aamake ekhon kichhukkhon deke deke jalaben naa. aami ghumote jachchhi, kaalker dumbaa taa motei subidher chhilo naa, aaj chNowaa dhekur uthchhe.” bolei suRut kore sNedhiye gelo prodip er bhetor.

“aami kaalkei bollum, oto kheo naa…” Aladin bolte jachchhilo, hothaat Harry jhNaata niye bhese uthe elo, jhNaatar dogaay bosaa Superman, hNafachchhe.

Harry D.S. ke dekhei chomke uthlo, “eki! aapni bNeche aachhen? kintu killing curse…”

are duur- oi killing er 108 baar…. osab baan-faan aneke anek maariyechhe, taai diye ki ar fyataRur iyer dogaa chhNowaa jaabe?”

Harry kichhu ekta bolte gelo, kintu theme giye bollo, “Clark ero to kichhu holo naa. du-dubaar killing curse byartho?”

Superman bollo, “na na, hoyni ke bollo, ei ‘S’ ta amar supershield. er jonyei bNeche gechhi. taaitei buke byatha hoye gechhe. etokkhon to bridge er khambaa’r opor bose rest nichchhilum. ebaar baaRi jete paarle bhaalo hoy.”

Aladin bollo, “cholun, aami-i aapnake pNouchhe diye aasi, buke chot niye aar eka eka jaaben naa.”

Superman ekgaal hese bollo, “jaabi bhaai? chaw:! toke santraasbaadi bole bhaari bhul korechhi, kichhu mone korisne!”

Madan bolle, “kintu ei teko shudda taar ki hobe? eo to kil kheye lotke gechhe!”

Purandar bolle, “okeo ektu bangla shNukiye daao Madan da.”

Harry hNaa-hNaa kore uthlo, “na na, khoboddar naa! okeo Aladin niye choluk, England er opor diye jaawar samaye tup kore Azkaban er chhaate fele dobo.”

***************

ektu pore, jakhan Aladin, Harry aar Superman Karachi’r opor diye pass korchhe, takhano Superman taar Super-hearing e shunte pachchhilo, kaager thyang er moton lokta chhoRaa kaatche

baan maare Voldy

teRe aase Jinn

haath naaRe fyataRu

haase Aladin…

ei gopper sab choritro kaalponik. keu baastober sange kono mil khNuje pele taar sahitya-gyan niye aamar kichhu bolbaar nei.

CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS POST

Ektaa bishaal kaalo baaduR er moton chehaara bhaaste bhaaste egiye aaschhilo andhokaar fNuRe. kintu taar dike takaanor moton abastha Madan baa Purandar er chhilo naa. dujonei humRi kheye poRechhilo DS er opor. DS nishkompo shoreer ta dhore dujone tolbaar cheshtaa korchhilo.

kintu baaduRer moton lokta sedike taakalo-o naa. Aladin baa Superman er dikeo naa. soja Harry’r dike taakiye saaper moton gawlaay bollo, “So Potter, we meet again.”

“bujhechhi, keno snitch ta etoduur chole elo.” Harryo thaanda gawlaay bollo. “Eto duur Voldemort? eto bhoy paao tumi Dumbledore ke? Eto duure tene aante holo aamake?”

Aladin totokkhone uthe dNaaRiyechhe, “ke aapni? ki korlen ei loktike?”

Voldemorte ekbaar taakiye dekheo patta dilo na Aladin ke. Harry’r dike taakiye bollo, “The boy who survived? not any more.” bole haather wand ta taag korlo Harry’r buker dike. “avada kedavra

byaparta eto taRataRi ghotlo, Harry nijer wand ta tolaar o samay pelo naa. sobuj aalo ta or bukei laagto, jodi naa ‘faster than speeding bullet’ Superman Harry’r saamne giye dNaaRiye poRto. Superman er buker S sign taar opor aalota laagar sange sange ekta bisforon holo! Kalipujor haawui er moton chhitke uthlo aalo. neeche Hooghly bridge er opor ghaapti mere bosey thaaka traffic sergeant ekbaar aakasher dike taakiye bhaablo, India’r 20-20 match jetaar anande potka futchhe bodhoy.

Aar opor theke DS er moton-i chitpaat hoye poRlo Superman, tobe carpet er opor noy, so-o-o-jaa neeche. digbaaji khete khete. aar or dhaakkay harry’r haath theke khose gelo taar magic wand taa.

Harry nijer jhNata niye dhuumketur moton sNaaa kore uthe gelo opore. Lord Voldemort ektuo taRahuRo naa kore carpet e bosey thaaka Aladin, Madan o Purandar er taak kore wand taa tullo. Aladin aagu-pichhu kichhu naa jaanleo eta bujhte samay nilo naa, je ei teko, kNaaklas er moton chehara’r loktaa motei subidher noy.

Purandar etokkhon pore kemon asahaay er moton bollo, “Madanda, DS more gelo?”

“haan bondhuraa. aaj obdhi ekbaar chhaaRa Lord Voldermort er killing curse kokhono byartho hoyni.” saaper moton hishisey gawlaay bollo Voldemort, ekta bisri hasi hese. aar taarporei uNchu gawlaay bollo, “Potter, dujon morechhe, aaro laash jodi felte naa chaao, neme eso edike.”

Harry elo, neme noy, uthe. 10-15 second porei dekhaa gelo, laal-sonaali aalkhalla gaaye Harry jhNaatay chepe niche theke bhese uthe elo opore, haathe or wand ta. bhije, jol topachchhe ekhono. Gangay poRe giyechhilo. bhaagyis kaather bole dube jaayni.

Harry soja ese Voldemorter mukhomukhi holo. taarpore dujone ki bole jete laaglo, fyataRu raa, baa Aladin kichhui bujhte paarlo, shudhu dekhlo laal-neel-sobuj aalor phooljhuri, aar ‘expelliarmus‘, ‘stupefy‘, ‘crucio‘ ityadi kichhu bijaateeyo shobder chitkaar.

tobe eta besh bojhaa jachchhilo, je buRo teko Voldemort dhire dhire Harry ke konthaasa kore felche. Harry’r poraajoy ekhon shudhu samay er apekkha. Purandar Madan ke kichhu bolte jachhilo, Madan khNyak kore taake thaamiye Aladin ke bolle, “Aapni to moshaai hebi harami maal, chheleta lotke jachchhe, aar aapni bosey bosey chushchhen!”

Aladin bollo, “aami ki korbo? aami ki or sange juddhe paarbo? dekhlen to oi American ke aar aapnader bondhuke…”

“Tumi ki maarabe seta ki aami bole debo? udg**d* kothaakar! pokete prodeep ta ki dime taa dewaar jonye aachhe?”

“Ehh, sorry! bhulei giyechhilum.” bolei Aladin pocket theke prodeep ta baar kore ghoshte churu korlo. kintu oi obdhi-i. ghoshe ghoshe prodeep gorom hoye gelo, daitya’r dekhaa nei!

“sabbonaash! Jinn ta nighghat aabar ghum maarchhe. ei ek jala hoyechhe, dindin or fNaakibaaji baaRchhe!” fyakase mukhe bollo Aladin.

TO BE CONTINUED……

CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS POST

“Bujhle, aaj sakaale sabe ektu atachee taa niye berubo-berubo kochchi, emon time maalta sNedhiye elo ghorer bhetor.” Ekta mota gawlaa

Ekta chintito gawlaay proshno elo, “takhani uRchhilo?”

“ke aami? naa naa, aami to hNetei….”

“are duur maal! tomaar katha ke bolechhe? headmotaa ga**d* kothaakar! Purandar bolchhe ball taar katha!” Ekta khNyacha-maarka gawlaa.

eibaar superman dekhte pelo oder. dekhei chomkaalo. teente lok, uRte uRte aaschhe. eki, era kaara? Krypton er theke amadaani naaki? totokkhone lokgulo besh kaachhe ese poRechhe. Eta mota-bNete, ekta lombaa-rogaa-foklaa, aar ten nombor taar kaager thyanger moton chehara.

esei teenjon khub khushi hoye uthlo, mota-bNete taa bollo, “Uri: maairi! Madanda, ekhaane ekta shotoronchi bhaschhe go!”

Lombaa-roga taa, maane jar naam Madan, totokkhone shotoronchi taa dekhe felechhe. aar kaager thyang arthaat Purandar-o. Teen jonei byaparta survey korte elo.

mota-bNete DS toRaak kore carpet e uthe bose poRlo. bosei bollo, “uhh, dyana duto khule gechhe b**R*! ei aapni ke maairi? notun fyataRu naaki? o Madan da, boloni to guru!”

Madan nijeo besh abaak hoyechhilo. kintu kichhu bolbaar aagei capet er chhele ta bollo, “fyataRu? maane? aami to Alāʼ ad-Dīn!”

Superman eibaar chinte paarlo, “ohh, taai bol! tui Aladin! toke to cinemay dekhechhi. dizni’r film. kintu tor ekta bNaador chhilo naa?”

Aladin abaak hoye bollo, “bNaador! bNaador koththeke aasbe?osab tomaader banano goppo. aamar to shudhu jinn aachhe ekta. se jaa chaai sab ene dite paare. kintu bNaador to chaaini konodin.”

ei shunei laaf maarlo DS, “jaa bolbe taai? aari:paagla! dubotol bangla aanao naa. chukuchuku mere di-i.”

Purandar-o etokkhone bosey poRechhilo carpet er opor. besh birokto hoye bollo, “aahh DS! sei ek jinis roye gele. are baba, anachchho jakhan, bangla keno? D.S.-i aanao naa!”

Madan birokto, holo, “ah-haa! katha taa ki niye hochchhilo, seta bhule gele cholbe? DS, bolbe naa pNyadaani khaabe?”

“aare naa, bolchi to. aaj sakaale ek pet lyata maachher jhol-bhaath pNediye just berote jachchhi, emon samaye dekhi aamar chhle ta uRe uRe ekta ball niye khelchhe. ball taao uRchhe. uRe palate jachchhe. kintu amaar chheleta to jaanoi, khochRaar aaNdi. thik paakRe felchhe. aami maaltake dekhei bujhechhi chaampi maal, chokchok kochche, nighghaat sona-fona hobe. kaayda kore size kore niyei dhNaa!”

Purandar bolle, “diye dilo, chhele?”

“khepecho, jaa haaR-haarami… dite ki chaay? anek kaayda kore baagiyechi. taao bou dekhte pawar aagei. eibaar nimu-syakra’r dokaane jheRe dilei bhaalo mallu ese jaabe haathe!”

Madan bolle, “hNu, maalta dekhaao dekhi!”

DS pockete saabdhane haath dhukiye jetaa baar kore aanlo, seta ekta ball. no doubt maal ta sonaar. tobe ekta bisheshattwo holo, ball taar dudike duto finfine dana achhe. aar seduto neRe ball ta nije thekei uRe palabar cheshta korchhe.

jinista dekhe Madan aar Purandar to botei, Superman aar Aladin o besh ektu abaak holo. erokom uRukku ball to konodin dekhaa jaayni! ki eta? keu kichhu bujhe othaar aagei ekta gawlaa pawa gelo, “excuse me! aapnara keu aamar snitch taake dekhechhen?”

sabaai chomke taakiye dekhe ekta 16-17 bochhorer choshmaa poraa chhele, ek maatha kaalo jhNaakRa chul, ekta daanda-wolaa jhNaatar opor bose jigyaasu drishti te taakiye aachhe.

oder abaak hote dekhe chheletaa aabar bollo, “disturb korchhi, sorry. kintu keu aamar snitch taake dekhechhen?” bolte boltei DS er haather ball taar dike taakiye bollo, “WOW! eito. eito aamar snitch.”

DS sange sange gorom hoye bollo, “majaki hochchhe? tomaar baaper snitch sala! etaa aamar, aamar ghore dhukechhilo. aami dobo naa.”

chheleta fNoss kore ekta ni:shaas fele bollo, “na dile aar ki kora jaabe? accio snitch!” shesh katha taa bolaar sange sange DS er pocket theke ball ta chhitke beriye chheletar haathe giye jomaa holo.

DS er golla golla chokher dike taakiye cheleta muchki hese bolle, “thank you. aamar naam Harry. Harry Potter.”

Aladin carpet er opor bose bose etokkhon moja adekhchhilo, ebaar bolo, “baah! bhaalo magic dekhiyechho he chhokra. shikhle kothaay?”

“Hogwarts. khub bhaalo skool, okhaane…”

“ohhhh!!! Ki hochchhe esab? ke tomraa? ei jaaygataai baa ki?? keu aamake bolbe????” Superman etokkhon er frustration chepe raakhte naa pere chitkaar kore uthlo.

ato:por porichoy er paala. clark, daily planet, kolkata, vidyasagar setu, magic carpet, aladin, harry, quidditch, fyataRu, fyat-fyat-sNai-sNai aaro nanabidho katha, jaa paathok der naa jaanleo cholbe.

“kintu aami ekta jinis bujhe uthte paarchhi na,” Harry bollo, “how come snitch has flown so far? eto duure to or aasar katha noy!”

hothaat ekta sobuj aalor jholok, duur theke bhese elo ekta fyasfyase gola “…. kedavra.

DS ghure taakiye bollo “ke re bN*R*?” bolte na boltei aabar “avada kedavra“. dwitiyo sobuj aalo ta ese laaglo soja DS er buke.

DS chitpaat hoye poRe gelo carpet er opor.

TO BE CONTINUED……

Aakash ta je motei aar aager moton nirjhonjhaat nei, Superman sedin sakaalei setaa ter pelo.

Shonibaar, daily planet e off-day, clark Kent orofe Superman ektu deri korei ghum theke uthechhilo. bhaablo anekdin ghore bosey aachhi. ektu ghure-ture aasa jaak. daant maajte maajtei aakashe uthe poRlo Clark. sakaaler thaanda haway daantshirshir korchhilo. naah, ebaare sensodyne toothpaste kinte hobe. daantgulo boddo sensitive hoye gechhe. bhaablo Clark.

aakash theke New York shohor t bhaari sundor dekhachchhilo. kintu esab Superman er bohubaar dekhaa. kothaao ekta jete hobe. notun kono jaaygay. kothaay jaawa jaay? O aabar bhugol e ektu kaancha. mohaakash theke prithibee ta ke anekbaar dekhleo, knta kon desh, average american er moton-i or temon idea nei. jaahok, Superman thik korlo puuber dike jawa jak.

daante brush ghoshte ghoshtei Clark Kent, naa sorry, Superman (or gaaye ekhon sei laal chaadorwola neel jaama ta) minit dhoshek er modhyei ese pouchholo ekta nodeer opor. Nodi taar opor ekta bridge. anekta or Brooklyn Bridge er moton dekhte. ekhaane ekhon sandhe hoye esechhe. Bridge taar mathay aalo jolchhe. bhaaloi laagchhilo Superman er. O neeche neme nodir jol e kulkuchi korte gelo, kintu mukhe dewaa maattor, pet er bhetore mochoR mere uthlo! nehaat Superman er pet kharap hote nei bole holo naa. naahole ekkhuni diarrhoea hoye jeto. baaps! ki pollution!!

kintu ei jaayga ta ki? O ektu dhNaadhay poRe gelo. Laal underwear, jeta o pant er opore pore, taar elastic e brush ta gNuje rekhe ektu aakasher dike uthe giye chaarpash ta dekhe nilo Superman. uNhu, bojhaa jachchhe naa! besh chowRaa nodi. dudike duto pellaay shohor. daandiker ta ektu beshi aalokojjol. eitkui. O aaro kisab bhaabte jaachchhilo, emon samaye kiser sange jeno or dhakka laaglo. Superman ghure taakye dekhe ekta chyangRa cheharar chhele. gaale haalka daaRi. gaaye buk khola ekta jaama, dholaa paatloon porone. bosey aachhe ekta carpet opore. carpet ta shunye bhaschhe.

Dhakka kheye Superman er pithe besh byatha legechhilo. se ektu koRaa golaay bollo, “ei, ke be tui?”

Chhele ta ektuo naa ghaabRe bollo, “aapni ke moshaai? aakasher modhye lamp post er moton dNaaRiye aachhen? lokjon ke jatayat korte deben naa, naaki?”

Superman ektu gorom hoye bollo, “Oye, kaar sange katha bolchhis jaanis?”

Chheleta taar ekmaatha jhNaakRa chule haath chaaliye bollo, “nighghaat aapni american! sara duniya ta baaper sampotti hisebe dhore niyechhen!”

“aami naahoy American, tumi kothaay thaako chaaNdu?”

Chhele taar carpet er opor aadhshowa hoye bolo, “aami? Arab e!”

Superman toRaak kore laafiye uthlo, “Arab e? takhani bujhechhi! naahole aar flight technology churi korechho tumi? janis ota Pentagon er classified information? tui churi korechhis. terrorist!!”

Chheletaao sojaa hoye bose khNichiye uthlo, “terrorist? flight technology? ei jaajim jobekaar maal, tomaar purboprush takhan Europe e hama dichchhilo, bujhecho! aamar kaachhe aaro jaa aachhe naa, tomake ekkhuni thaanda kore ditey paari.”

“jaani to,” Superman bollo, “Weapons of Mass Destruction niye ghurchhis tui. Shaala terrorist! tobe aamar opor apply kore kichchhu korte paarbi naa, ei bole dilum.”

Carpet wolaa tokkhuni pocket theke ki jeno baar korte jachchhilo, emon samaye khaanik duure kaader jeno gawlaa pawa gelo, nijeder modhye katha bolte bolte aaschhe.

TO BE CONTINUED……

Puri giyechhilum,

aami takhan khub chhoto.

ki bishaal, koto baali, koto jol

aamake aar paay ke?

baali te paa chhoRiye bose

kella banate laaglum.

koto boRo hoyechhilo kella taa,

gaaye laagiye dilum

shaamuk-jhinuk.

dheu aaschhe, aashe paashe

bhijiye dicchhe, aamar kella atut.

ki anando aamar.

hothaat ekta dheu elo – jhopaass….

sab shesh.

poRe roilo shudhu jhinukgulo chhoRiye.

kNede fellum aami.

maa bollo, “duur boka,

tui naa purushmaanush?

kNaadte aachhe?”

aami sedini bujhechhilum,

purushmanusher kNadar adhikaar tukuo nei.

aami aajo kella banai, mone mone

samaajer dheu ese bhene dey.

poRe thaake shudhu smritir jhinuk gulo.

rong-berong er, chhoRaano.

jakhan asajhya jontronaay chhotfot kori

golaar kaachh ta dola paakiye aase

choshma ta jhaapsa hoye jaay,

kaar jeno gawlaa shunte paai,

“duur boka, tui naa purushmaanush?

kNaadte aachhe?”

aami kNaadi naa.

purushmaanusher kNadte nei.

biduushak er to aaroi naa.

aami aabar kella baanai.

aabar bhaange.. aabar goRi…

aabar… aabar……

Aamar samporke ekta katha anekei jaane na, aami nishaachor. Aamar ei raat choraa dik taa’r sange aamar beshir bhaag bondhui porichito noy. khub close bondhura chhaaRa temon keu jaanena. aar close bondhu der modhyeo keu keu aamar ei swabhaab take bhul bojhe. jemon Bhombol. jedin aamar ei nishaachar dik taar katha shunlo, sedin i bollo, “baah, camera ta sange raakhis to? ashe-paasher baaRtie jaanla diye….” oke aami bojhaate paarbo naa bole cheshtaao korini, je aashe paasher baaRite jaanla iye dekhaar moton maanosikotaa chhaaRao anya kono maanosikota maanush raat jagte paare.

aar raat 12 ta 12:30 ta, boRo jor 1 ta r por unki maarar moto kichhu thaakena, kaaron takhan lokjon ghumiye poRe. aamar raat shuru hoy 1:30 baa 2:00 theke.

Bhorbelaa niye anek kaabyo hoyechhe, eklaa dupur niyeo anek sahitya aachhe. kintu raat er andhokaar er romanticism niye Banglay temon kono sahitya nei. romanticism maane aami prem bolchhi naa. romanticism maane romancho. ekta feeling, jeta jaara rat jaagoni tara kichhutei bujhte paarbe naa.

jangal er raat er katha bolchhi naa, shohor er raat ero ekta choritro aachhe. aar sei choritro proti season e paaltay. gorom er raat, borshar raat, shorot er raat, sheet er raat….

raat 12ta- 1ta’r por jakhan sab porichito shobdo bondho theme jaay, sab TV bondho hoye jaay, kono machine chole naa, gaaRir shobdo praay bondho hoye aase, keu katha bole naa, takhan aakasher neeche chhat e bose thaakte bhaari mojaa. raat takhan tomar sange katha bole. taar nijoswo bhaashay.

dhoro tumi shuye aachho chhaat e chitpaat. uttor-puub aakashe gholaate chaand ta uthechhe. taar jhaapsa jyotsnay bhutuRe dekhaachhe chaarpaash. aar fyakaashe kaalo aakashe kuchkuche kaalo gaachher daal gulo chhobi aankchhe haway dule dule, emon samay ni:shobdo daana mele uRe gelo duto baaduR. anek opor diye. kaalo trikon daanay jhaapta mere. bhaari mojaa.

raat er nijoswo choritro aachhe, seta ke jodi tumi bujhte paaro, dekhbe raat tomar bondhu hoye uthechhe. jemon dhoro gorom er raat. anek raattir obdhio ter pawa jaay chhaat theke, chhat er pNaachil theke gorom bhaap uthchhe. saradin er rod er taap. baa brishti’r raattir. chhat e jete paarbe naa. tobe ghore shuye shuye shunte paabe brishtir shobdo. diner brishti’r awaj er cheye ekebaare aalada. aar gondho pabe, bhije maatir gondho, taate diner belaar dhNowaar bichchhiri gondho mishey nei, kaamini phool er gondho aachhe. shorot e him poRa shuru. ekta thanda thanda bhaab, joto raat baaRe, gaa shir shir bhab taao baaRe. sheet er raat aabar bheeshon damp. din ta jemon shukno, raat ta temni bhije. sab surface him poRe bhije aachhe. haaway kuwaashar gondho. kemon jeno aaNshte, mechho gondho.

anek duurer awaj o porishkaar shona jaay. jahaj er bhNow, boRo raastay paharawolaar bNaashi, aami bochhor doshek aage obdhi sheyaal er daak shunechi. ekhon aar paai naa. tobe raatchoraa paakhigulo boddo ni:shobdo. pNyacha, night heron, baaduR(paakhi noy), eder daanay kono shobdo nei. tobu pNyacha maajhe modhye “khyach-khyach-khyach” kore aawaj kore. bakira aaro chupchaap.

baapre!!! post ta kotto boRo hoye gelo! aasol goppo taai bola holo naa…. jaakge porer baar bolbo.

goto 17th feb Kolkatay bediyaa sammelan hoye gelo. sekhaane bediyaa baa bede raa taader ek guchcho daabi pesh korlo. tofshili jaati bhukti koron, saapuRe peshaar sikriti, ityadi nana daabir modhye chhilo main duto daabi:

1) saapuReder saaper khaamar toiri’r adhikaar dite hobe

2) saapke banyapraani noy, praanisampad ghoshonaa kote hobe.

baakigulor katha apaototo thaak. osab raajnoitik votebank er byapar syapar, aamader moton faceless voter der o niye katha bolaa saaje naa. aamra main duto daabi niye katha bolbo.

prothomei bhaabte hobe, kono ekta praanee ke keno aamra praanee sampad bolbo? bolbo takhani, jakhan taar product aamader large scale e kaaje laage. jemon murigr dim/ maangso, gorur dudh/ mangso, pNathar maangso, hNaaser mangso/ dim, eirokom. seirokom saaper kon jinis ta kaaje laage? abashyai bish. at least aamader deshe saaper maangso khawar chol nei. aar laage chamRa. handbag banate, aar poshaake lining dite. er jonye haazar haazar saap roj mara poRchhe, chorashikaar hochchhe. sei kaarone, jodi saapke praaneesampad akhya dewaa hoy, taahole farming kore saper sankhya baaRano jaabe, aar sei farm product byabohaar koraa jaabe industrially. saadhu prostaab!

kintu ete ki sab samasyar samadhan hobe? e deshe kichhu chhotokhaato kyachal aachhe bondhugon. banglaay jaare koy snag. ekhaane ekhono porjonto konorokom infrastructure nei saaper khaamar toiri’r jonye. jetuku hoy, taa prodhaanoto beheRiya baa irula kimbaa bede der traditional expertise er opor base kore. taader tradition bidye thaakleo, aadhunik farming er kono expertise-i nei. aar large-scale khaamar korte je technical back-up laage, taao nei. ekhetre duum kore praanee sampad ghoshonaa kore dile khub mushkil.

prothom mushkil, dim er incubation. saap prolific breeder. prochur dim paaRe. kintu beshir bhaag-i noshto hoy. sathik incubation temperature er opor nirbhor kore bachchader sex, chhele saap hobe, naa meye. ichchhemoton taapmaatra control koraar infrastructure ekhaane nei. bangkok e aachhe. dwitiyo samasya khabar er. ei bipul saap baahinee ke ki khawano hobe? prodhaan khadyo byang emnitei endangered. aar saaper kono farm food aachhe boleo jana jaayni. anyanyo snake-farm er sange annexed feeder-farm o thaake. ekhaane se sab korte samay laagbe.

tobe sabcheye boRo samasya corruption er. Bharat e jetaar kono abhaab nei. ekhaane structured snake farm toirir aage duum kore saap kore animal wealth declare kore dile jeta hobe, se oti sanghatik kaarbar.

snake farm nei, edike saap farm product. arthaat wild saapke dhorbaar ebong khun korbaar rasta prosasto hoye gelo! murgi’r jemon gentic diversity aachhe. poultry-chicken bon murgi’r cheye genetically aalada. kintu saap taa noy. arthaat keu promaan korte paarbe naa, je saaper chaamRa taa aami niye jachchhi, seta aamar farm er, naaki jongol theke merechhi.

emnitei saapuRe raa saaper nana mithye bhoy dekhiye jakhan takhan saap maare. anekei baaRi baaRi ese bole, aamra aapnader ekhaan theke saap dhore debo, je saaper ni:shaase aapnar family’r khoti hochchhe, aar lokjon-o hindi filim er probhaabe dedaar murgi hoye bole dey, “haan haan dhore niye jaan!” kimbaa aajkal aabar dekhi notun bNaadramo, saapuRe raa ese bole aamra saap dhorchhi, bish bikri korbaar jonye, kimbaa Deepak Mitra’r farm e diye debo. bondhugon, bhuleo protaarito hoiben naa, oi haramjada raa chorashikaari. saapguloke dhore mere fele. taarpor chaamRa bikri kore dey.

eituku bole raakhi, paaRay baa baaRir kaachhaakaachhi chaatti saap thaakle khoti kichhu nei, taara ese tomaay kaamRabe naa (oraa jaane oder bish daami jinis, khaamoka tomaay kaamRe seta borbaad korbe naa). borong laabh, paaRay iNdur kombe.

saaper hNachi bedey chene. kintu sei chenaar sujog niye taara haazar haazar saap ke mere felbe, eta hote dewaa jay naa. saaper khaamar hole abashyai banya saapder opor atyachaar kombe, kintu aage infrastructure toiri hok. noile probhuuto kelo.

Ei muhurter paathok sankhya

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KhNuji khNuji naari, je paay taar-i.

We are not talking about girls, you dirty mind!